Friday, November 27, 2009

Coromandel to Nelson




Thursday 19th November Coromandel

(To Neighbours tune) Lay-ers! Everybody needs good lay-ers! Because good layers will keep you warm. I am at Coromandel Town (pop 1870 – sorry 1869 as Old ‘Digger’ at the General Store has just died at the age of 143) and have been persuaded by the nice lady at the Information Centre that the half hour climb to the ‘pa’ lookout is worth the effort. It is windy at the bottom, warm on the way up, and blowing a gale at the top. I am layering and de-layering like a demented onion! No way can I avoid breaking into a sweat. But she is right, the view is worth it. Right at the top I stumble upon what at first I think is a ‘wino’ but in fact turns out to be a tourist from Devon supping ‘vino collapso’ taking in the view and not wanting to go home! We briefly discuss the relative merits of views in OZ and NZ and conclude that there is more tranquillity in NZ. I leave him to his thoughts and the last of his wine and head down to the Harbour road. The ‘pa’ by the way is a Maori fortress – like our castles up high to dominate the surrounding countryside. Lots of these about but not much use against cannon fire from ships – step up Captain Cook et al.

I have driven for six hours to reach Coromandel, and have had to come back through Auckland. New Zealand trunk roads are not quite what we would expect in the UK, but we have to remember there are only 4million NZrs in the whole country. In the UK you expect a service station every 30 miles or so. In NZ you are lucky to get one every 200kms or not at all (c/f return from Cape Reienga). So careful planning and filling up whenever you get a chance are the watchwords of the day. The journey from Paihai (Bay of Islands) to Coromandel is about 400kms, but this is right down the Northland Peninsula, around the bottom of the Firth of Thames, and most of the way up the Coromandel Peninsula. Once you get away from Paihai the scenery is pretty dull until you hit the flat land at the bottom of the Firth of Thames. Then there is a long, long stretch of straight road with the Coromandel Range rising spectacularly in the foreground. These are the highest mountains I have seen so far. They are on a par with Snowdonia and parts of Scotland. Once across the Firth you reach Thames. Captain Cook had to dig deep for this one, noting that the river bears ‘some resemblance to that river in England’ – er, that it was wide and had water in it! The road hurries through Thames – well who wouldn’t - and then rather spectacularly winds its way along the coast for about 40kms, clinging to the edges at points for dear life, and then shoots off into the foothills which are more than a little Alpine and cause some spontaneous yodelling on my part, before descending past the oyster beds into the small hamlet of Coromandel.

I know what you are expecting! Some disaster stories re the local population once ‘Cooky’ turned up. Well, things went really well to start, even when gold was discovered first in Coromandel and then in Thames. Somehow the local Maori managed to get the gold-diggers to buy licences to dig for gold on their land. But you will also know it did not last. Greed again, the Maoris got swindled, swamped by 10,000 settlers in the first year after gold was discovered. The other thing that happened was that loggers stripped the hillsides of the ‘kauri’ trees so that by 1930 there were none left at all! The NZ Government is now trying to replant some.
New Zealand birds are really annoying me. When I try to speak to them they move away; when I try to photograph them they get all coy; and when I ask them to shake a tail feather for me they get positively aggressive. To top it all I hardly recognise half of them. So first stop at Coromandel is to a bookshop to purchase Collins’ Birds of New Zealand. I did not do the same in Australia on the grounds that there were far too many and I would have gone bonkers trying to identify them. I had spotted harriers hunting by the roadside on my trip to Cape Reinga, and at first wondered what they were hunting as there are no mammals in NZ – then, of course remembered that there are no indigenous mammals if you don’t count bats. The settlers brought lots with them, so there are plenty of rabbits and dead sheep etc for the harriers. What I didn’t realise was that the settlers also brought lots of birds native to the UK in particular and just released them into the wild. The birds of course got on with it and they are all over the place now. At Cape Reinga I had been surprised to hear skylarks when the wind dropped. Outside my hotel I had seen blackbirds, thrushes and sparrows. It took some time for the penny to drop! NZ now has mute swans, and black ones from Australia, and the dreaded Canada Geese. The settlers packed them all in – ducks. Swans, geese, small birds, large birds, owls, finches – it goes on and on. And just for good measure they release weasels and stoats to keep them on their toes! So walking around Coromandel is a bit like walking round an English village - sparrows on the lawns, chaffinches in the trees, blackbirds singing – you could shut your eyes and be 18000kms away in England. But in some respects that is what the NZ settlers wanted to recreate. I did see some native species. The Bell Bird that goes ‘ding dong’! and the NZ Kingfisher which I watched perched on a log in the estuary, fishing for small crabs. At the end of my walk to the ‘pa’ I rewarded myself with freshly caught and cooked Coromandel scallops and chips! Loverly!

Talking about birds and distances has reminded me that at Cape Reinga yesterday a sign showed the UK to be 18000kms away. So I worked out that if I drove off the end of the Cape and headed home it would take me two months solid driving for twelve hours per day at an average speed of 60kmph to get home – that is if I did not meet any road-works and the traffic lights stayed on green all the way!

Friday 20th November Rotorua – Land of a Thousand Smells!

‘Mud, mud, glorious mud! Nothing Quite like it for cooling the blood!
So follow me follow, down to the hollow, and there we can wallow, in glorious MUD!’

I am so relaxed I think I have either had seven or eight pints – which I haven’t – or someone has stolen my bones! What has actually happened is that I have just been to Hell’s Gate Waori Mud Spa on the outskirts of Sulphur Spring City Arizona ie Rotorua. The leaflet waxes lyrical about this secret Maori treasure, with special muds and sulphurous waters where for the princely sum of $75 ( about £45) you can relax in your own private mud bath ( no hippos allowed – or so they said!) and then commune in a sulphur spa ( no blaming each other for the eggy odours!). So I thought when in Rome… First though you have to do the tour of the boiling mud pools ( average temperature 70 -100 degrees so not allowed in these!), sulphur lakes, and the mud volcano. Ok if you like steam and smells that remind you of chemistry labs at school. Not so good if you don’t like eggs. I did think for a moment that it might all be an elaborate hoax like the Only Fools and Horses ‘Peckham Spring Water’ and that below the boiling mud were pipes etc. who really knows. Still, the visit was worth it. I got 20 minutes on my own in a warm sulphur pool with a bucket of grey mud to play with. So what you say, you could do that at Southport any weekend! But no, this is ‘special’ mud. Quite what it’s supposed to do I don’t know. It’s too silky to give skin a good ‘peeling’. It just feels nice and makes a relaxing experience. 20 minutes later and I am hauled out of the pool by a hefty Maori warrior and thrust straight under a cold shower! ‘Shower good!’ he says convincingly. I am then led shivering to a sulphur spa pool where there are a number of terrified-looking people up to their necks in the warm water (it is 38degrees). ‘You go in pool now!’ says my captor, pushing me down the steps and into the water. I settle down next to two Germans and ask them how long they have been in here. They think three days, but are not sure as they are suffering from dehydration. After half an hour I slip out when the ‘guard’ goes to fetch another captive from the mud bath.

Apart from this it was superb. I can’t believe how relaxing it was and even the cold shower – yes that was real – contributed to the overall experience. I stayed in the spa pool for about 35 minutes. The others in the pool were varying sizes but some only showed about a quarter of their true bulk above the water line – hence the comment about hippos! The name of the place is down to George Bernard Shaw who visited and said it looked like the ‘Gates of Hell.’ His comments about the mud bath and compulsory cold shower are not recorded!

Another long drive today as I had to reach Rotorua where I stay for one night. I travel the ‘famous’ route 309 from Coromandel to Whitianga. It is basically an old logging road but all the guide books say it is ok in an ordinary car as long as it is not wet. Thankfully the weather is fine, and the road is a mixture of sealed road, unsealed stoney track and muddy (dry thankfully) track. It is very scenic and meanders through farmland, forest, up hill and down dale. The guide leaflet says you will be ok if you keep well left! It doesn’t mention massive logging trucks coming at you on the wrong side of the road or road-works – lots of road-works. They seemed to be rebuilding massive sections of the road. I think they are preparing for the real tourist season in December/January/February. It took me about 45 minutes to do the 21kms of route 309. Good fun. Back on route 25 it was Rotorua here I come, with about four hours driving ahead of me. The Coromandel peninsula is divide right down the middle by the Coromandel Range so I now had this on my right as I sallied down the coast. Music was my company as usual, and having found a copy of ‘Schindler’s Ark’ in a bookshop for $2 yesterday and having started reading it last night I was soon launching into ‘Three German Officers Crossed the Rhine’. Not my finest moment so far! Thankfully a car passed by me with the registration CANBY and so I was able to justify a change to the Beatles! The East coast of the peninsula is allegedly the prettier but I had no time to stop and see. I did notice a Cook’s Beach on the map, next to Cook’s Bluff, and then next to Shakespeare Bay. Was Cook’s bluff that Shakespeare never visited New Zealand?

My main intention was to get to Rotorua early enough to visit the mud spa, but also to allow me to visit the Kiwi conservation centre at Rainbow Springs. Imagine my annoyance then when I stopped off at a place called Tauranga for a coffee and a sandwich to find that it was enwrapped with major road-works and once I got into the city I could not find a way out again for 45 minutes! Hard to believe but the place is massive and it is a major port. I missed turnings galore and ended up driving on instinct to get myself back on the right track. Don’t go to Tuaranga!

Rainbow Springs Nature Park is a major player in Kiwi conservation in the North Island. Kiwis are bred there and released into the wild, with a high survival success rate. There is not a lot of chance of getting up close and personal with a wild Kiwi as they are shy nocturnal birds, so this was likely to be as good as it was going to get. And good it was! I joined a touring party of ten for a 45 minute in depth look at the conservation programme which included very close contact with – but not touching or photographing – three adult Kiwi. They are the national bird of New Zealand, about the size of a large domestic hen, and just about the oddest thing you could see – apart from the duck billed platypus! Physically they are more closely related to mammals than birds – for example they have marrow in their bones. They lay eggs the size of footballs! The human equivalent would be a baby of 35lbs! Ouch! The females are much nastier than the males – rings a bell, that one! The males incubate the eggs for 80 days. They mate for life. And they look cuddly. Why the problem then? OK it’s us again! The Maori have to take some responsibility for when they came the Kiwi knew no predators so were easy pickings for food and feathers. So easy that the Kiwi would just stick its beak in the ground and pretend it was not there! Kiwi feather capes were very popular with tribal leaders. However there were just not enough Maori to do serious ecological damage. That was down to us. Along we come and chop the habitats down. Then we introduce serious predators – cats, dogs, possums – but worst of all, weasels and stoats. These little beggars can kill 500 kiwi before you can say hang on was that a weasel I just saw. No that was a stoat! How do you know the difference. Simple, weasels are weasely recognised and stoats are stotally different! (Thanks to the memory of Grandpa for that one!) They are prolific breeders too so lots of kiwis needed for baby weasels and stoats. The poor kiwi just had no defence. Eggs, young, developing adults – all easy pickings for Mr and Mrs Weasel and the little weasels, as well as the Stoat Twins. So the conservation programme aims to put adults into the wild at a stage where they can at least defend themselves – they have very sharp claws. It’s slow progress but it is working. The conservation centre has very elaborate anti-predator fencing and a big sign that says ‘Weasels and Stoats – keep out!’

The guide for the tour was a Kiwi lady called Miranda. Now, whereas the Australians talk from the back of their throats – ‘Strine’ – Kiwis are more subtle but talk through their noses. ‘Egg’ becomes ‘ig’, ‘bird ‘ becomes ‘beard’, ‘sex’ is ‘six’ and ‘arrest’ becomes ‘ a wrist’ etc etc. So with a party of ten consisting of three from the UK, two from Canada, two from Thailand, and three from India the commentary was going to be interesting. Add to that a speed of delivery that was almost formula one and you can see what went on. Apparently two beards had six and the female laid an ig. The male then sat on the ig on the nist for two manths and a check was born. The check weighed in at 104 grims. The check was then taken away by a consirvationist before it was eden by a priditer, and fid a spishul diet of beef heart and veggies. When it weighed nearly a thousand grims it was released back into the wild where it was eatin by a weasil. Later in the evening after my mud bath I went back to the centre for the kiwi ‘night viewing’. That’s stretching it a bit. In the absence of SAS night vision goggles I think I saw a kiwi or two rushing between a nesting box and some bushes! They could have been mechanical for all I knew!

I will finish today with two things – plants and radio.
Plants first. The plant emblem of New Zealand is the pohutukawa tree. It has bright red flowers and a profusion of red signals the summer is here. They are just beginning to emerge now. The Maoris called it this because it means ‘red tree’ – doh! I missed out the Australian emblem the ‘wattle tree’ and apologise for this.

For all the Monty Python buffs out there, remember this……
‘This here is the wattle, the emblem of our land,
You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Amen.’
Rule Seven – no pooftahs! Rule Eight – there is no Rule Eight! Rule Nine – no pooftahs!

Radio! Come back Radio One – all is forgiven. New Zealand Radio is awful. It is so bad that every radio in every hotel or motel I check into is tuned into some sort of ‘Gold’ or ‘Timeless Classics’ station. Tonight I turned it on and Peter and Gordon blasted out. Who you say if you are under 93! Followed closely by Roger Whittaker! Help! Help! If it is not that it is Bic Runga singing to me from every ‘piped musac’ outlet in the country. Love the song, but has New Zealand not got any other music? Help!

Saturday 21st November Rotorua to Napier

I am heading South for my last couple of days in the North island. Actually it’s South-East to Napier on the coast, but first I have to do the ‘Maori’ experience at Te Puia. This is the site of the world famous – so famous I had not heard of it before – Pohutu Geyser which erupts a couple of times each hour and spurts hot steam, water and gasses to levels of 30 metres, but not today folks! It was impressive none the less and given that it all works on ‘natural’ plumbing even more so. The Maoris have built a cultural experience centre around the geyser site and though this sounds a bit tacky it is good fun. At my motel in Coromandel the owner had rather sourly referred to Rotorua as ‘RotoVegas’, and it is like that – a bit in your face and commercial but what the heck. It is one of the most popular holiday destinations in NZ for NZ people and who am I to challenge that. Not a place to stay a long time though. My ‘experience’ at Te Puia started with a quick visit to the geyser for a mini ‘spurt’ and then to the daytime concert which promised a traditional Maori welcome – hopefully not the same one Captain Cook got ie a spear in the back - songs, dance and the famous war dance, the Haka. Our hostess gathered us around the entrance to the Maori meeting house to explain what was going to go on. She laid great store on respecting the sacredness of the house as visitors and said we would be required to remove shoes and hats. She also said that the group should be quiet when the warrior came to challenge us at the start. This is where it went a bit wrong as the party of Japanese tourists did not seem to understand ‘quiet’ or ‘respect’. Now it may have got lost in translation, as the hostess said we would be experiencing a ‘tradisihinil Maori gritting’, and they may have been confused enough to expect the oncoming ‘warrior’ to throw handfuls of small stones at them, but when she said ‘shhhh!’ several times you would think they would get the message. One of them managed to get himself elected as ‘honorary chief’, basically because he pushed his way to the front, and then proceeded to not follow the hostesses instructions, for example not to turn his back on the warrior as this was seen as an insult! She was incredibly patient, and as for the rest of us if the ‘gritting’ warrior had chosen to spear him there and then we would have said ‘just deserts’. We followed the hostess into the Meeting House and she sat the men at the front – as would have been done in the past. Greetings and songs followed and then the women were invited up on stage to take part in the female poi dance. This involves swinging balls on string to music so the efforts were quite hilarious. Even more so because one of the Japanese men had managed to miss the word ‘female’ and had ended up on the stage. The hostess shrugged her shoulders and left him there. Then it was our turn. We were ‘required’ to perform the ‘haka’. It was great fun and no-one minded that we made a hash if it! Lots of thigh slapping and grunting. Seeing as the ‘haka’ is designed to intimidate opponents in war, we would have not even frightened a rabbit! No-one cared though and the ‘real’ warriors had a great laugh at our expense. At the end our ‘chief’ managed to get the traditional Maori ‘nose rubbing’, the ‘hongi’ right otherwise I fear to think where they would have rubbed his nose! A great hour!

I stayed for another hour and toured the site, looked at the geyser again, and went into a cultural exhibition. Lots of famous people have been here including Gracie Fields, Eleanor Roosevelt ( who looked about six foot six), and our own Queen and Prince Phillip (‘bloody natives!’). An interesting tale is the one about one of the Maori guides who actually assisted the Queen by holding her elbow when she appeared to stumble. Protocol says that mere mortals should not touch royalty so she was reprimanded by an eqirry and her bosses! Her response was to say would they have rather she fell! She is also recorded as giving Eleanor Roosevelt a ‘hongi’ but needing a step-ladder to do so, and giving Gracie Fields change for her New Zealand coins using the biggest cash dispenser in the world ( sorry!) After that really bad joke I went in to the kiwi house. The sign said no noise and no cameras, but it was not long before the familiar ‘babble’ arose and the ‘chief’ and his entourage arrived. I left quickly. Hope the kiwi had the sense to hide!

A fifty minute drive saw me at Lake Taupo, NZ’s biggest lake. It is in the caldera (collapsed cone) of a volcano that last erupted 26000 years ago and threw out 800 times as much stuff as Krakatoa! Wow! All the areas surrounding are still volcanically active. The lake is 606 square kms, and at the southern end is the mountain range that contains Mount Ruapehu (2797m) the most active volcano in the area - last erupted 2007! It also contains Mount Ngauruhoe (2287m), otherwise known as ‘Mount Doom’ from ‘The Lord of the Rings’. This mountain was chosen for the film because of its perfect conical volcano shape. You can see these mountains for miles around and at this time they are still snow-topped. The road takes me down the eastern side of the lake, through some forests, and then heads off into some semi-desert. I know this because the sign says ‘Desert Highway’. It is a tad disconcerting to see a gate after a couple of kilometres with a sign saying ‘road open’. I expect the road may have some problems in the winter – snow etc – but it still is a little shaking. I am heading down to a place called Waiorou where I expect to pick up a road to Napier that is not the main road. This will take me over the ‘top’ as it were, snaking between the Ruahine and Kaweka mountain ranges and through the Kaweka Forest. It should be interesting to say the least! I have looked at the map and it definitely does not say 4WD only! I have a little concern re petrol so stop at Waiorou and fill up and do the tyres. Waiorou is an army garrison town and the land to the east is all firing and training ranges. I will not be going there. To the west all the way to the turnoff the peaks of Ruapehu and Ngaoruhoe dominate the skyline and my thoughts. I imagine Frodo and companions climbing the peaks and making their way through the forests. I think about Orcs lurking in the trees of Kaweka Forest. What great scenery and how well used in the films. Make mental note to watch them when I return. For real ‘ Ringies’ there are organised trips to Hobbiton and all the sites used in the film. Not for me, but the films have really boosted the NZ tourist trade.

At the turnoff for Napier, which I nearly miss because I am thinking of other things, the sign says ‘Napier 154kms. Sealed road apart from 27km.’ Great, that means where the road is steepest etc it will be at its worst. Hey, ho! Off we go! I think I will do Napier in about two hours. The road is easy to start and that always ‘sucks’ you in to a semi-complacency. Farm after farm, up and down hill, then the forest starts, then the road gets steeper, more winding. Then a hopeful sign – road-works ahead. In this situation this usually means they are extending the sealed bit, and it does, but it’s Saturday so they are not working and have just left the whole thing in a bit of a mess. Half sealed and gritted roadway stretches before me. On some sections it says ‘100kmph’. I am doing well to do 60kmph and keep the car going in a straight line! I have to be alert for trucks as it is logging territory. Some of the hillsides are stripped of trees and look forlorn. I see only dust clouds behind me but am not expecting anyone to overtake me. In fact no-one does until a couple of kms from the end. The odd car and 4WD comes the other way. After all people do live here! Nipping to the shops must be a real experience – especially if you leave your bag behind! And just to keep me on my toes, some parts are sealed and I think that’s it then I hit an unsealed bit again. I am going carefully into a bend on an unsealed downhill bit when a 4WD comes tearing round coming up the hill. He sees me late and goes sideways a bit to get past. I shan’t repeat what I called him! The nearest I come to any real disaster is when I shave the hind legs of a farm cat that chooses this particular moment to cross the road. Eight lives left I feel. On the final sealed stretch a ‘ute’ comes up behind and I let him past. I am glad to see the end of the road and the sign that says ‘Napier 19kms’. It has taken me 90 minutes to do the 136kms from the Waioru turnoff. Not bad really. Make mental note to give up ambition to be a rally driver!

Glad as I am to see some ‘real’ mountains at last, I am somewhat humbled to read that none of the ones I have seen so far get into the top 30 NZ mountains in terms of height! My guidebook tells me that I am yet to experience real height and will see it in spades in the South Island where one National Park – the one where Mount Cook is – has 22 out of the top 27 peaks over 3050m high! Mount Cook itself is the highest at 3755m. Nothing in Australasia competes with it. Looking forward to that one then.

Sunday 22nd November Napier

I wake a bit dazed after my long drive the day before and my rather nice meal of New Zealand lamb with Rosemary – funny, I thought she’d gone to Canada. I remember why I have come to Napier. On 4th February 1931 at 10.47am Napier’s early history ended and its future was assured by one and the same act. A huge earthquake measuring 7.8 ( ie BIG) shattered the centre of the town, flattening most buildings, and killing 157 people. In nearby Hastings another 101 died. It is still New Zealand’s biggest ever natural disaster. Luckily it was the first day of the school year and Napier’s children were still outside lining up to be out into their classes! Otherwise it could have been another Aberfan. It is hard to get hold of the magnitude of such things but the whole Napier area was tilted upwards by 2.1 metres by the earthquake! The water in the inner harbour lagoon just disappeared and Napier suddenly had an extra 3000 hectares of land to deal with. The residents cleared out as you can imagine and most of them could not return for nearly two years. Napier needed rebuilding and here was where its future was secured. At the time of the earthquake a style of design known as Art Deco was fashionable – it had started in Paris with the Expositions des Arts Decoratifs et Industriales Modernes in 1925, and was used for example in the design of the Chrysler Building in New York – and this was embraced with gusto in the rebuilding of Napier. Thus Napier is THE world capital for Art Deco buildings. But it wasn’t just colourful, it was cheap and safe as most of the buildings would be made of reinforced concrete and devoid of the added decorations that had fallen on people in the earthquake. Napier reinvented itself, and today it is a tourist hot spot for this principle reason. In February they have an Art Deco festival in which major stars appear ( eg Rod Stewart) and they have a street ‘dinner’ for 2000 people – booked solid a year in advance – where all attendees dress in the Art Deco style of the 1930s. It is major fun and a real money spinner for the town. Even if architecture does not float your boat you can’t help but be impressed with the style and colour of the buildings and the fact that they have not bowed to the pressure of organisations such as McDonalds but rather made Mc Donalds adopt their style to the town’s buildings. Not all of the 1930s buildings have survived but there are sufficient for the whole CBD to have that Art Deco feeling about it. Well worth a visit and a walk round.

One of the Art Deco shops was Dymoke’s book shop and in a very short time I had bought two books about Captain Cook! Will let you know later.

Albatross! Albatross! Gannet on a stick!
Off in the afternoon to Cape Kidnappers to see the Southern Hemisphere’s largest mainland Gannet colony. This is three hour guided trip by 4WD lorry-coach (see Daintree River) and is the only way of reaching the colony without walking for four hours along a beach and risking getting cut off by the tide. So safety first. The route takes us through Cape Kidnapper’s Station which sound like a farm, which it partly is but it is also the ‘plaything’ of a US billionaire who bought half the coast of this peninsula ( 5000 acres) with the express intention of building a golf course on it and a world class one to boot. He did that and it is number 37 in the world rankings. Lucky for us on the trip the previous owner of the land happened to own the Gannet Trip Company and so inserted a clause in the purchase agreement guaranteeing access rights for his company through the ‘station’. So instead of the hazardous beach route we get to go on the hazardous station route – well some of it is hazardous. It takes an hour to reach the Gannet colonies (there are four) and we go through rolling pastureland, river beds, native bush, steep gullies (and I mean steep!) and alongside cliff edges with breathtaking views. As a result of arriving early and chatting to the driver who is a primary school teacher who does some supply teaching and this as well, I get invited to sit in the ‘death’ seat alongside the driver so that I can see with great vivid detail all the chasms we can fall into and the edges we can roll over of he gets it wrong. The others in the lorry-coach are all from NZ or OZ except for a lone Japanese girl who speaks top no-one and may be on the wrong bus. As we go along the driver points out rare birds, trees, sheep ( lots of these), and gives us a full breakdown of the purchase of the land we are now on. He also tells us he has played golf on the course, which would normally cost about £300 a round! We stop to take in the spectacular cliff-top views of Hawke’s Bay and the Mahia Peninsula. He tells us that when he did the morning trip it was so misty they could see nothing.

The Gannet colonies themselves are all near each other and there are 10,000 breeding pairs who return to the same site each year. We can get right up close and the noise( and smell) is tremendous. The birds ignore us and get on with the business of nest building, mating and for some of them sitting on eggs. They are a beautiful bird and very acrobatic. The main activity while we are there is nest building and male Gannets swoop over our heads (very closely) carrying large amounts of seaweed for the nests. With approximately five thousands birds at each site finding your partner whilst carrying a beak full of seaweed is not easy and many birds do not do it first or even second time. If they land next to the wrong female they get roughed up and have to take off quickly. When they do locate the ‘missus’ there is lots of squawking , and a ritual recognition dance that involves rubbing their necks together. Nest sites are vey jealously guarded and any encroaching even by accident is dealt with by nipping the offender! I felt like David Attenborough! Gannets, Gannets everywhere! They get under your feet, they get in your hair. Even standing directly under the runway I did not get ‘pooped’ upon, but the bus driver said I was just lucky! Whilst we were there a trio arrived who had walked the beach route and had had to wade some of the way. Two of them were from Scotland – but not according to one of the NZ ladies who confidently informed me she had identified their Welsh accents! They had come to NZ for the summer to shear sheep. Good luck, I say. The way back took us down a very steep cliff pathway and I felt myself apply my invisible brakes at one or two points, but the vehicle held steady and we returned ok. On the way the driver showed us a new ‘anti priditor fince’ and some ‘priditor traps’. The new owner had co-operated with two other landowners to try to create a conservation reserve on the peninsula. Once the fence was in place they systematically killed all the possums in the area (hundreds), as well as 700 – yes 700 – wild cats, lots of rats, weasels, stoats ( see yesterday’s joke) so that they could introduce kiwi and other rare birds to the reserve. They have a full time staff of ‘catchers’ who bait small traps for those ‘priditors’ who bypass the ‘fince’. I had wondered about foxes and it seems that this was one animal the settlers chose not to introduce as it was already seen as a pest. Perhaps it was a class thing too, as most people who came were not landowners in Europe? Anyway New Zealand is fox-less. As a parting ‘gift’ our driver introduced us to a plant called ‘Bushman’s Frind’ – lovely big leaves with a soft white down on the underside which can be used as natural toilet paper if you get caught short in the bush! Thanks for that, mate!

Travelling back to Napier I remembered that the Dutch in the form of Abel Tasman had named New Zealand but no taken possession of it. That is until I passed a chippy in the town of Clive and just had to stop for breaded snapper and chips. And the name of the chippy? ‘The Frying Dutchman’!

Cape Kidnappers? Another ‘Cookyism’ I am afraid. He had brought a ‘prince’ from Tahiti to act as interpreter and the ‘prince ‘had a servant who was kidnapped by local Maoris who fancied him with chips. Luckily he was rescued so the he could die of dysentery in Jakarta later in the voyage.

Monday 23rd November Napier to Wellington

It is a bright morning in Napier and after packing I tour the town centre photographing some of the Art Deco buildings. It is a little confusing as the ‘pedestrianised’ area seems to be frequented by traffic so I have to leap strategically every so often when taking snaps. I have a long drive ahead to Wellington – 305kms – so I breakfast in Napier. I choose a café at the junction of Tennyson Street and Hastings Street (there are also Browning and Byron streets – town planner liked British poets). I have a good view of some of the Art Deco buildings but one row is spoiled by ‘Rosie O’Grady’s Irish Pub’ – bah! You can tour in a 1930s car and one comes by. For a moment it is the only car at the junction and it is the 1930s again. In an instant it is gone and replaced by a new Chrysler Cruiser which doesn’t really look out of place, then a van advertising a cleaning service.

‘If you’ve got some growth on your window panes, who you gonna call? Mould Busters!’

I relax with porridge and fruit followed by poached ‘iggs’ on toast and lots of Earl Grey tea! Just watching the game – having a Bud!

The road from Napier to Wellington is bordered on the Eastern side by the Pacific Ocean and on the Western side by the Ruahuine Mountian Range. The land is pretty flat and makes very good farming and wine producing territory but scenically is a bit dull. You have to wait until you get to a town called Featherston, about 60 kms from Wellington before it brightens up again. I settle into ‘drive’ mode and get my MP3 player going. Thus I am a bit shaken out of my reverie when about half way to Wellington I am confronted by an enormous Viking astride the road! I know Eric the Red went to America, but New Zealand? I have hit the town of Dannevirke, which is on my map but not featured in my guidebook. I just have to stop and find out. The woman in the Information Point is most put out that the town is not in my ‘Lonely Planet’ guide! I double check it and still can’t find anything. She helpfully gives me a leaflet of explanation as to why there is a Scandinavian town in the middle of nowhere. It is simple enough. I am on Highway 2, but in the 1870s this did not exist. The route from Wellington to Napier had been planned but it was still very much a rough horse track. A proper road and railway was needed. To build a road etc you need labour and this would at that time have to come from abroad. Recruitment was put in the hands of a Norwegian a Mr Friberg who popped across to Norway, Denmark and Sweden and came back in 1872 with a shipload of Scandinavians. There were 13 Danish, 6 Norwegian, and 2 Swedish families, and each family was given 40 acres of land for their troubles. So that’s why they are here! So as they say in these parts – Hilsen Fra Dannevirke! (Hello from Dannevirke). The leaflet I was given was so helpful that I now know to put my rubbish out for collection on Tuesdays, that if I lived there I would be one of 9321 residents, and if I need to make a telephone call there are three call boxes situated along the High Street.
Excited by my visit to Dannevirke, where I availed myself of the use of the public conveniences on Barraud Street, I picked up a hitchhiker. I had thought for some time that there were hardly any hitchhikers around even though each town has at least one ‘backpackers’ hostel. The guy I picked up was a Kiwi of around mid-40s, who had trained as an engineer, had done various jobs for a while but not settled at anything, and over the last couple of years had taken to wandering the country ‘free camping’ ie sleeping under trees, and ‘tramping’ ie walking over hill and dale. He financed his lifestyle by signing on the dole but he had no intention of getting a job. Nowadays you can pick up your dole money anywhere as long as you have access to a bank account so he could travel where he wanted. He looked reasonably healthy on it. He said he avoided spending money on lodgings if he could and managed to get a shower etc once a week! We chatted about travelling, comparing England to New Zealand. He had some firm views on global warming, mutli-nationals taking over NZ businesses and a range of other stuff. He didn’t seem to see the irony of his complaining about immigration, and saying that those that worked were ok viv-a-vis his own non-working situation. I didn’t want to get drawn into any heavy discussions and anyway he would have forgotten me two minutes after he got out of the car so I let him talk. He told me that hitch-hikers were getting rarer as the younger ones tended to buy a cheap van or car rather than haul their packs along the roads. At the end of their journey they sold or dumped the van! A bit of the kiwi attitude to Maoris popped out in that we passed a Maori girl hitching. She had the traditional tattoo on her chin which at first site is a bit disconcerting. He said I would be wise not to pick up a Maori hitcher as they could not be trusted ( see Abos in Oz and Blacks in the USA etc etc). He went on to say that most urban crime is committed by Maori youth ( see Abos in OZ and Blacks in USA). No mention of disaffection due to employment prospects, racism etc. Hard one I know as it is ‘chicken and egg’ but it betrayed the usual myopic attitude. After about an hour I dropped him at a place called Featherston where he was going to find a place by the river to spend the night and have a few cans. I did not envy him one bit!

The last few kms to Wellington pass through the lower parts of the Tararua Range and the Rimtuka Ramnge, but the road is still pretty winding and steep. Wellington is NZ’s capital city though it is considerably smaller than Auckland ( about 400,00 all told in the region but only 100,000 in the city). You have to go through here when travelling between the islands. It is built on very steep hills and is a bit like San Francisco in the respect. It is known as ‘Windy Welly’ and I have experienced some of that tonight – it is throwing it down as I write this! Its famous ‘children’ include Peter Jackson of ‘Lord of the Rings’ fame and Katherine Mansfield, who ranks as NZ’s most distinguished author despite writing a limited amount of shirt stories and dying of TB at the age of 34 in France! More by luck than judgement I find my hotel easily and once settled in go for a walk. Compared to Sydney the hotel advice is good. I am sent downhill ( a good start) to get the Cable Car up to the top of the Botanic Gardens so I can see the view and walk down hill ( I like it) to the town afterwards. The Cable Car is very neat and cheap. There are also trolley busses ( like SF) and some ordinary ones. Up the top the Botanic Gardens are a bit disappointing but I enjoy the walk down and the view over the harbour. I need some exercise after my long day in the car.

The route down takes me through the Bolton Street Memorial Park, at the entrance to which is an explanatory board and free leaflets. The ‘park’ is in fact an old municipal cemetery which is as old as Wellington itself. It reached capacity in 1892 and a new one opened elsewhere. I find these places fascinating, they have so much history in them. There are over 8500 people buried in the cemetery, from all denominations, but despite living and working together each ‘denomination’ (Anglican, Jews, Catholics) insisted in having separate sections of the cemetery! There was also separation in terms of wealth with the poorest having simple wooden grave markers – most of which have rotted away – and the more prosperous having huge stone markers or obelisks. In the 1960s it was decided to put a motorway right through the middle of the graveyard. This meant the removal and reburial of 3700 persons, and the closure of the area for three years. The creation of the ‘Memorial Garden’ was to make up for the disturbance. Each gravestone is a story on itself and the guide leaflet picks out some key ones. Times were hard then and families did suffer. One family, the Duffs, had to deal with five of their children dying of Diptheria within a period of 11 DAYS! From December 21st 1876 to January 1st 1877 Hannah (21 months), Edith (6), Agnes (8), Margaret (10), and John (11) died. I stood there stunned by this. Just how could the parents cope with that? There is no record on the gravestone of other children but the father lived another 20 years and the mother outlived him by ten years. Diptheria is a disease virtually unknown now to us in the developed world, but it was still killing children in the UK in the early parts of the 20th century. The biggest child killer of the time was Scarlet Fever which caused blood poisoning and circulatory failure and another grave records the loss of six children of the Wallace family within three months in 1865. Finally, a fire took Louise Johnson and her five children in 1877. With death rates like these it is no wonder the cemetery filled up by the 1890s! In the lower part of the Garden I did find the grave of Rira Porutu who died in 1866. He had been a Maori tribal chief and was one of the signatories to the Treaty of Waitanga (see Bay of Islands).

My final task of the evening was to locate the Te Papa museum for a visit tomorrow before I get the ferry to South Island. Finding it was no problem. Finding my way back to the hotel was. For once my map reading skills let me down and I went left instead of right and like the Grand Old Duke of York when I was up I was up, and when I was down I was down, and when I was only half way up I was neither up nor down! Taxi!

Wednesday 24th November Wellington to Nelson

The historians amongst you will be amused by that juxtaposition. From Waterloo to Trafalgar via Lady Hamilton’s boudoir no doubt! But first, Te Papa. It is a huge National museum – and is FREE – and is too much to see in the couple of hours I have got before I go for the ferry. The museum guide says to see Levels 2 and 4, which are about the geological and geographical history of NZ ( level 2) and the social history, including immigration ( level 4). So off I go. Fabulous display about the geological origins of New Zealand, with lots of moving models and videos explaining ‘plate tectonics’ and why NZ is so volcanic. Simply put, the earth’s surface is a series of inter-related ‘plates’ that move about and push against each other. Where the most pushing happens there is the most earthquake and volcanic activity. The ‘join’ between the Australasian and Pacific plates runs right through NZ. An aerial view shows the lines of mountains that I keep mentioning running down the middle of the North island and all the way along the West coast of the South island. In geological terms this is a very young land mass and still changing! Makes the scenery exciting but there will be more quakes and eruptions in the future – it is guaranteed! Linked to this the geographical displays showed how some creatures are common to NZ and OZ, and why some aren’t, as at one time the two land masses were joined ( with India, South America and Africa too). It also showed that prior to the arrival of the Maoris about 100 years ago, 85% of the land mass was covered with forest and bush. The Maoris reduced this to about 55%, and the European settlers reduced it further to 25%. It basically stayed that way because the remaining 25% was too hard to cultivate being on steep mountains or swampland. Despite this I am amazed that there is still 25% left! As I have mentioned before apart from the effects of clearance on native plant and bird species, the introduction of non-native plants, animals and birds has had a devastating effect on native wildlife. It is easy to ‘tut’ from a distance when we have our ‘eco’ eyes open wide, but even the early settlers had their warnings from far sighted farmers, some of whom feature in the display. Places like NZ ushered in the era of cheap, mass produced food - Anchor butter, NZ lamb etc – so we have all benefitted at some point from the farming methods adopted. Times change though and there is a firm foundation for a more eco-friendly approach in NZ for the future.

The Maoris travelled great distances by seas to get to NZ, and slowly occupied the whole of the two islands. When the ‘settlers’ arrived the usual land swindles took place and it is very stark in the South island where there is hardly any land still under Maori ownership compared to the North Island. Maoris have their representatives in Parliament and their own TV station but it is hard not to see it as tokenism. One odd aspect is the adoption of the Maori ‘haka’ or war dance ( of which I am now an expert – demonstrations for a fee!)by the New Zealand Rugby team, the All Blacks. Tokenism again? Funnily enough there is some public discussion here about the names of NZs rugby and soccer teams. The soccer team is called the ‘All Whites’ and has just qualified for the World Cup in 2010. The World Cup is taking place in South Africa so a team called the ‘All Whites’ may not go down too well! We will see.

I chanced upon part of the display about immigration which was devoted to non-Maori people from the Pacific Islands eg Samoa or Tonga. They were encouraged to come to NZ but on arrival experienced racism from the ‘settlers’. Some responded by setting up strong political movements like the USA Black Panthers. Others formed ‘gangs’ not unlike those in South American cities like Rio. I wonder what my hitchhiker would have made of their stories?

My last bit of interesting news about Te Papa is that it has on display one of the cannons from HMS Endeavour, Cook’s first ship and the one that nearly sank after striking the Barrier Reef on their way home. The only way they got off the reef was to chuck lots of stuff overboard, including six of the cannons. Divers found then in 1969 and sent them to museums in New Zealand and Australia. It does not mention the UK – I will find out about that.

I haven’t got very much to report about the Inter-islander ferry, apart from the fact that it is big, and when we are waiting on the top ramp to be loaded we are physically shaken by the trains being loaded below! The journey of just under three hours, as well as the one hour wait for loading, gave me a chance to finish one book (Schindler’s Ark) and get well into another ( Captain Cook), and still have time to watch the ship being expertly backed into its berth at Picton Harbour having negotiated the winding route through Tory Channel and Queen Charlotte Sound – very winding and narrow! We had of course crossed Cook Strait which separates the North and South Islands, so it was appropriate that I should arrive reading a book about him.

Schindler’s Ark first. I picked this book up in Coromandel for the princely sum of $2. I will now leave it in some café for someone else to read. I had seen the film (Schindler’s List) and I suppose I was drawn to it by some of the tales I had picked up on my travels about treatment of indigenous peoples. It ranged between very depressing – just how could people treat each other like that! – and uplifting in that the human spirit refused to be broken by horrendous experiences. There were moments when I felt I could not go on reading it, despite the fact that I knew that most of the people involved survived the Holocaust – and some of them spent time in places like Auschwitz. But finish it I did with a tremendous respect for those involved and a feeling that I am glad I will never have to go through something like that.

Captain Cook is a little better. I went into a book shop in Napier and asked if they had anything on him. The man serving mumbled a bit and then went off. Five minutes later he came back with four books. I would have bought them all but I have no spare ‘weight’ in my luggage so I settled for two. One was a ‘101 things you always wanted to know about Captain Cook’ sort of book. I read that in one sitting. The other is a little less straightforward. The author is tracing in parallel the lives of James Cook and an ancestor of hers who lived a hundred years after Cook, but published a history of Australia in which he claimed Cook had never ‘discovered’ Australia. Very controversial at the time I understand. In fact Cook never claimed to have ‘discovered ‘ Australia, but he did think he was the first person on parts of the East Coast, but his principal aim was to stick a flag in a bit of it and claim it for the King of England! It is people since who have used this for their own ends and named all sorts of bits of it after him – McDonalds ‘Cook’ Burgers! He does however need credit for what he was really good at which was mapping for he completed the first successful circumnavigation of New Zealand (which if you remember had been named by Abel Tasman – wake up at the back there!) and drew spot on maps of it to boot! He may have used some earlier maps to give him some start but with his accurate measurement of longitude his maps are so good that they have only been superseded by the use of satellite technology! How about that!
I will let you know how the comparison works out but the ‘101 facts’ did give me chapter and verse about his death. He was getting on a bit by the time of his third (and last) major discovery voyage, was not well, and was starting to make poor judgements. His fatal poor judgement was to go back to Hawaii where he had already received a bit of a hostile reception. Local people pinched one of his boats and Cook decided to take their chief hostage until they handed it back.(This was a tactic he had successfully employed on earlier voyages). As you can imagine the natives were not going to let that happen and a skirmish ensued on the beach. Stuff was thrown and something hit Cook on the head. He responded by shooting the nearest native and then all hell broke loose. Cook was speared in the back, fell in the surf and was speared and clubbed to death. Four marines and a number of natives were also killed. The rest of the crew withdrew to the ship to regroup. To make matters worse the natives then ‘cooked’ Cook and ate part of him – he was only finally identified by a scar on his hand from an accident earlier in his life. Nasty. Needless to say the ship’s crew regrouped and went back and gave the natives a good going over, in the process getting back what bits of Cook they could, and burying them at sea. It took eleven months for the news of his death to reach London. A bit of an ignominious end to a rather interesting life. Thus the Cook legend was founded and grew and grew and grew. More anon.

Wednesday 24th November Nelson

Picton where the ferry landed is very small, and the next biggest settlement and the centre for activities for the three surrounding National parks is Nelson. It is a two hour drive from Picton, through the lower reaches of the Mount Richmond Conservation Park, and through a winding valley that cuts between the Bull and Bryant Ranges. What is noticeable is that wherever the land is in any way flat there are vineyards. Miles and miles and miles of them. And I understand that I am yet to hit serious wine territory! Nelson is a town of about 40,000 but is close to Stoke and Richmond so in effect it is one big conurbation. Yes, it is named after the Admiral, but as yet I do not know why. There is a Trafalgar Street, a Trafalgar Square, a Hardy Street, a Victory Square, - then just in case we miss the British patriotic influence we have Wellington Street, Britannia and Victoria Heights. Curiously there is Quebec Street, the Heights of Abraham, Montcalm Street, and St Lawrence Street. These do not mean there is a French contingent in the town. On the contrary they celebrate the drubbing of the French by an army led by General Wolfe so that we took over huge tracts of Canada, and just to prove that everything ends where we began, the charting of the St Lawrence River that led to the victory was carried out by – yes, you have guessed it, Captain Cook!

I am behind with the domestic stuff so this morning is washing and shopping as I will be here three nights. I visit the Tourist Centre and book a sailing trip in the Abel Tasman Park for Thursday – not forgetting to take my sun screen! There is just so much to do round here you get a headache just thinking about it. You can jump into, onto, out of, over, under just about anything you can imagine. You can walk or shop till you drop. You can camp, tramp, stamp, or stand where you like. You can ride a horse, a speedboat, a tractor, whatever. You can swim, dive, snorkel, see dolphins, seals, and maybe whales. You can drink yourself silly in the millions of vineyards gasping to give you free samples. Or you can just lie on the numerous beaches and get sizzled. This area is just about the most popular area in NZ for NZ tourists. Abel Tasman Park to the North is the most visited National Park in NZ – and he never even went there! The Kuhurangi National Park lies to the West and is the place to go if you want to ‘tramp’ or cave as it has some of the deepest and most intricate cave systems in the country – not for me folks. And to the South are the Nelson Lakes with more walking/climbing country. It’s all a bit intimidating if you just want a stroll! Nevertheless I go to the Conservation counter and ask about a not too hard walk that will take 2-3 hours. The man behind the counter who bears a remarkable resemblance to Sir Ranulf Fiennes, clearly only works in days, and I have to explain that I am only a ‘soft’ Brit ,and am not interested in roughing it with nature. He rustles his maps in a bit of a fluster, and suggests I might like to stroll round Woolworths. I say I have already been, and he is clearly impressed that I have survived so suggests a walk near Mount Arthur in the Kuhurangi Park. He finds me a map which shows a place called Flora Hut – which I am sure I have already seen in Woolworths! Next to the Anchor Butter. The walk will take about three hours and will lead me up to 1500 feet, with good views of the Mount Arthur range. I am sure he mumbled ‘good riddance’ as I left.

He would be even more irritated to know that after all his efforts I never got there! Oh I set off alright and followed the instructions in the leaflet, but right from the word go I felt that it would not work out. For a start the instruction leaflet was so vague. It mentioned taking a road bridge at a place called Ngatimoti on the road to Moteuka, but did not say take the back road to Moteuka – I discovered this by accident. When I reached what I thought was the bridge after an hour driving – nothing is close! – there was no sign for Graham Valley as the leaflet said. I guessed and took a right and found myself in Moteuka. Bugger it I thought, I’ll head back to Nelson. There must be a way back to my digs that does not pass the Conservation centre. As it happens I stopped at the Nelson beach at Tahunanui , had a really nice walk in the surf for an hour – the beach is endless! As is the norm now, very few people swimming but no stinging jellyfish and no shark nets! My walk in the surf absolved my guilt and I later waved happily at the Conservation centre as I drove past.

In the evening I walked into Nelson itself to see the Art Deco Cathedral at the top of Trafalgar Street. It was only 7pm but all the shops were shut and the town was eerily quiet. All that was missing was tumbleweed. There were a few bars open with a smattering of customers. I set off from the cathedral to walk back to my digs and came across a blue plaque on the wall of a jewellers. It said –

‘In 1999, Jens Hansen, renowned gold and silversmith, created here the One Ring for the movie trilogy The Lord Of The Rings’

One ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them

I did laze in bed a bit this morning and read my book as a very windy night had lots of doors and windows rattling and to boot someone from my bank rang me at two in the morning! Was amused by a story in this morning’s reading about when one of Cook’s party shot one of the strange bouncing creatures they had been seeing. As they settled down to a feast of the creature’s meat with a couple of friendly locals, conversation turned to what the strange creature should be called. The party had a sort of interpreter from Fiji, but he did not understand what the Aborigines were saying – ditto they did not understand what he was on about. No doubt there was a lot of gesturing and arm waving and imitating bouncing like an elaborate game of ‘charades’, so that in the end to the question (delivered v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y as Brits always do to foreigners) what do you call that creature we have just eaten, the Aborigine allegedly replied ‘kangaru’. So it became ‘kangaroo’. What the Aborigine was really saying was, ‘Sorry mate, no idea, I’m not from round here. I’m from Woolamaroo.’

Thursday 25th November Abel Tasman National Park

Despite the fact that you only have to look under your bed to find evidence of an explorer round here, I think I have just had one of my best days so far. I had signed up with Abel Tasman Sailing Adventures, a subsidiary of Abel Tasman Inc., for their full day sail in Tasman Bay and along the coast of the National Park. They promised scenic sailing, golden beaches, lagoons, fur seals, forest and an hour long beach lunch at Anchorage Beach where you could explore, swim or just relax. A 9.30 check in meant an 8am departure from Nelson. In my rush I forgot my road map so had to guess some of the way and then stopped at a garage and got a local one. I had been told to report to the caravan on the beach – very sophisticated but when I got there not a soul in sight. I have learned not to panic in these situations as everyone is a bit laid back but I did look around for a catamaran – saw one out in the bay – and had a word with the man in the hut next door who was selling tickets for the water taxis ( back to them later). He said ‘Oh yes, they will be along eventually’, which of course they were. I had in the mean time spotted the catamaran on the move towards the beach and spoke to the guy sailing it who turned out to be the captain for my trip. The catamaran can take about twenty people comfortably but at any one time there were only a maximum of 15 so lots of room to settle down. We set off at 10am after our safety briefing – the emergency exits are to the front, the sides and the rear, and if the oxygen masks come down we are about to be hit by a plane! Very droll but it set the tone for the day. Mark, the captain, was pleasant but always very professional. He clearly knew what he was doing, so much so that he was able to roll himself a cigarette and steer the craft with his knee or foot at the same time. We had a two hour trip up the coast, calling in at lots of bays for a look, spotting some seals, and just taking in the magnificent scenery. No wonder this is as popular with NZ people as it is. It is just picture postcard beautiful. Golden sands, empty beaches, deep blue sea, birds, wildlife. We all soon sank into relaxing mode but making sure that we treated ourselves carefully against the sun- except the two girls from Bavaria who insisted on getting lobster red! More fool them – pain tonight I fear!

At Anchorage Beach we lunched and whilst the Bavarians got redder some of us went in the edges of the sea and then headed for the shade. At that point some of the passengers departed to walk back along the Tasman Track – a mere four hours. In today’s heat rather them than me. We then took on some other passengers who had got a water taxi in the morning and who had been rock-hopping and seafood collecting for a couple of hours. It took us nearly three hours to get back because the captain wanted to do a bit more ‘sailing’ so took us a bit further out into the bay. More seals – the NZ fur seal is huge! – more scenery, more relaxing. The time went very quickly indeed. And I didn’t get sunburnt! I could see me quite getting used to this!

Chatted to lots of people on the boat – including the captain who let me have a steer for a bit – but most interesting was a girl form Plymouth who had taken six months unpaid leave to do the NZ and OZ trip. She told me she had been quite shocked by how negative Australian people were about Aborigines – even her friend and relatives. So it is not just me who picked up this ‘vibe’. We discussed how marginal social groups often turn to anti-social behaviour as a way of registering their ‘presence’ , and this is the case with the Aborigines and some NZ groups. As we talked and sailed through these idyllic bays we reflected on how traumatic it must have been for any native group to see a European ship just turn up in their bay. It was a trauma it took some groups a long time to get over. I said that perhaps the Australian Aborigines had a lifestyle that was so far removed from the European one that has been imposed that they may never get over the trauma.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

New Zealand






Sunday 15th November Auckland

Welcome to today’s edition of ‘I’m a seasoned traveller –get me out of here!’ Come back Adelaide – all is forgiven! I wake up to a wet, drizzly, dull, cold day in Auckland city. I have to pinch myself till it hurts to realise I have left behind the sunshine of Sydney and have come here. Yesterday was a day of travelling with me leaving the Blue Mountains – still not ‘blue’ but at least I could see them in the morning sunlight – at 7am and driving the two hours or so to Sydney airport, drop off the car then check in. The flight was delayed a bit by lack of baggage handlers (it’s not just Heathrow),and we landed in Auckland at about 5.45pm after a three hour flight. My taxi driver was Dev’s uncle from Coronation Street – I thought he was from Mumbai? The route from the airport took me through Selly Oak and Tottenham or so it seemed as everything – the houses, cars, gardens – were quintessentially ‘English’. Not surprising really given the origins of most of New Zealand’s original European settlers. Captain Cook again I’m afraid – he was or is the man who just about explored more of the earth’s surface than anyone in history, closely followed of course by our own Richard Branson. ‘Cooky’ as those of us who know him well are allowed to call him, went to sea as a teenager and got on because he could draw maps well. He ‘discovered’ Tahiti, landed in New Zealand, then took on Australia using up a lot of flags on the way. Some of his crew were excited to be invited to dinner by a Maori tribe who then promptly told them they were on the menu! Despite that ‘Cooky’ described them as of a ‘good disposition’. It was not a long career for sailors on the ‘Endeavour’ . A voyage with ‘ Cooky’ could mean death by any number of means- drowning when the ship struck the Barrier Reef, eaten by crocodiles, sharks, polar bears and natives, all manner of diseases, terminal boredom (shore leave in Auckland). ‘Cook’s Tours’ took them to Hawaii, Americas, Alaska, the Antarctic Circle. Not many of them had any spaces in their passports for more stamps! Depending which side of the barrier you are on you will either think of James Cook as an exciting adventurer or an imperialist villain. There are statues of him all over the place – some of which are not vandalised!

Auckland! Auckland! Auckland! A city so bad they named it three times! I have had more exciting days in Skeggy and Southport out of season. I decide to take a morning walk downtown. It is Sunday. It is raining. Auckland is shut! There are 1.2 million people in the Auckland area and most of them are still in bed – or in Adelaide. My guide book struggles to find nice things to say. The CBD is described as ‘grim and generic’. I follow a two hour ‘nooks and treats’ tour that takes me through three parks. Now the book did say that the city is the ‘city of volcanoes’ – well it needs something to give it some oomph! - but it did not say that the parks are placed in the cones of the volcanoes so that you have to go up, up ,up to go down, down, down, so that you can come up, up, up again. Those magnificent men in their flying machines, they go up tiddly up up, then go down tiddly down down – only on foot! Steps again, dad! Why does it always have to be steps? I tell myself unconvincingly that I will at least be fit when I return to the UK. I look hard for the nooks and treat and don’t find them. There is a reproduction of MIchaelangelo’s statue of Moses in one of the parks rather incongruously overlooking a children’s playground. The look on his face says ‘and I have come to this!’ Other ‘highlights’ include an ex-synagogue and the ‘original’ Father Ted Irish Pub. Give me strength!

Along the harbour wall there are the usual booths selling tours of all sorts. I realise that most things seem to happen outside Auckland in the areas where I am going tomorrow. Hopefully things will improve then. I book myself on a 360 degree islands tour for the afternoon, and discover a sea baths for later – a developing theme! On the way back to the hotel am alarmed to see a giant shark eating as bus – but then on second look see it is a ‘promo’ bus for Kelly Tarlton’s Underwater World. There seem to be more Kellys of one sort or another in the Antipodes than in Ireland! It ‘sells’ itself as being ‘housed in old storm-water and sewage holding tanks’ ( ugghhh!) through which you travel on a conveyor belt, whilst the sharks, stingrays etc choose what to have off the passing menu!

Back at the hotel to collect my stuff I am not surprised to see people throwing themselves from the city’s 328metre high Sky Tower which is next to the hotel. I tell myself that they must have booked a whole week in Auckland on the advice of some unscrupulous travel agent - Thomas Cook’s maybe? Good job I am not here for more than a day. Am a little relieved to see them bounce back up into view as they are attached to a sort of bungy rope. The guide book suggests you can pay an extra $10 and the handlers will let go of the rope!

We tend to think Australia big, New Zealand small. Comparatively yes, but New Zealand is still bigger than the UK. It has only been populated for just over a thousand years, first by the Polynesian Maoris – they came from the opposite direction to the Aborigines of Australia so are very different – and then by the Europeans. The Maoris ended up being treated in much the same way as the Abos though. They had no metals and no written language, but neither did they have alcohol, drugs, or European diseases. The Dutch did pop in around 1642 but as there were no drugs went off again quite quickly. (Allegedly – Ed.) The leader Abel Tasman (see Australia) did leave behind a name – Nieuw Zeeland after the province in Holland from which he came. A hundred or so years later the British turned up, and that was that. The French did pop in but as there were no cafes and vineyards they went off in a huff. At first we were nice to the Maoris but in the end greed takes over and we have to ‘let em have it’ so to speak. We did come up with a rather ingenious method though. We gave muskets to one side in a tribal war and they happily bumped off their rivals. We then gave muskets to the other side and they reciprocated. Can’t trust these natives you know. They will kill a friend soon as look at them! By 1840 when New Zealand officially became a British colony Maori numbers had been reduced by about 20%. There were some pretty stiff clashes over the years much like those between the US and the Sioux Indians, but force of numbers and equipment meant that the settlers would always come out on top. Nowadays they seem to have had a better deal than the Aborigines, and are an integral part of society. But racism still exists (see Singapore).

I decide to give the town another go and go for a 360 degree trip round the harbour. The boat is packed – there are six of us on it, and two of those are re-runs who missed a bit in the morning. It drizzles for about 50% of the time and is blowing a gale the rest. Our ‘guide’ is South African who is reading a script he clearly doesn’t understand. Weitamata Harbour ( maori for ‘is something bothering you?’) is choppy and big and amazingly full of water! We pass exciting things like a ferry being put into dry dock, some fishermen being sick in the swell, and an extinct volcano. Most exciting is the ‘dormant’ volcano Rangitoto ( Maori for ‘bleeding skies’ as in ‘I am trying to sleep and those bleeding skies over that volcano keep lighting up’) , and a wind surfer who takes off in a huge gust and plunges headfirst into the sea! He was ok. We pass golden beaches that are only golden because they ship barge-loads of yellow sand from the South Island or so the New Zealand lady sitting opposite tells me. She is from the South so clearly there is a North-South thing going on here. I have a headache and think of throwing the New Zealand lady overboard just to make something exciting happen. One of the islands did cause raised eyebrows though. New Zealand is very hot on ‘bio-security’. I did smuggle Rodent in at great personal risk, but they got my apples and oranges – they are currently serving 20 to life – and sprayed my walking boots with something that will no doubt make my hair fall out or turn me orange like David Platt. Oh my God it’s already happening! If you go on this island where there might be kiwis – a flightless, nocturnal bird that no-one has ever seen – you should check your shoes for seed, soil, hidden marsupials or rodents. The New Zealand lady told me that some people had even ‘got pissed ‘on the island. I was just trying to figure out the relevance of this to bio-security when she ‘and not just cats and dogs’. She had of course meant ‘pests’ – those accents again!

Back on dry land, I head off to the Parnell saltwater baths. After my errors about the Bobby Charlton baths in Sydney I check the ‘gay’ section of my Lonely Planet guide. Rather discouragingly Auckland is nicknamed ‘Queen City’ and has the country’s biggest gay population – not difficult seeing as there is no-one anywhere else in New Zealand. Encouragingly there is no mention of the Parnell Baths in this section. A half hour walk sees me there. My heart stops when I see marked out lanes and the usual ‘Fast, Medium, Slow and Not You Mate’ signs. The staff at reception are interested to know if we have outside pools in the UK. Of course we do I reply puffing my chest out and looking hard. And we swim in the North Sea too I add (missing out the bit about only when ferries sink). They say the water temperature is 16C. Like a bath to me I brag. When I get in it is freezing! But I have a lane to myself and can just about make out the far end 50 metres away – no ‘poncy’ baths here! In the lanes beside me I think there are dolphins swimming until I realise it is the ‘serious’ squad in wet suits. They leave me alone though and I have my relaxing half hour. At the end I dip in the Jacuzzi which is a none too friendly 40C! I nearly end up scalded!

Walking back through the town I decide to visit one of the ‘treats’ from the earlier trip, and at the same time break one of my golden rules which is not to go into Irish Theme pubs. I had spotted O’Connor’s Irish Bar on my walk and had been attracted by the menu. I ordered a Guinness, which in fact was very nice, then Beef and Guinness Pie, again very nice. The bar staff were very interested in my view of NZ so far – I lied! Two musicians in the corner struck up some tunes and the ambience was improved by this. The one song that sticks is below – well what I can remember of it.

‘I don’t care if it rains or freezes, as long as I have my plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
I don’t give up and I ain’t wary, as long as I have my plastic Mary
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
And when I go a fornicatin’, I bring along ceramic Satan
And sit him on the dashboard of my car.’

Everyone except the Mormons in the corner applauded this one. As I left they were launching into Neil Young’s ‘Heart of Gold’ and I was for a split second tempted to stay until I did the maths ie more Guinness = very drunk = may even end up thinking Auckland is ok!

Monday 16th November Paihia – the Bay of Islands

‘Goodbyee! Goodbyee! Wipe a tear baby dear from your eye!
Though it’s hard to face I know, I’ll be tickled to death to go!
Don’t sighee! Don’t cryee! There’s a silver lining in the skyee!
Bonsoir old thing! Cheerio, Chin, Chin. Na poo! Toodle ooh! Goodbyee!’
I think I have left Auckland behind when I go to pick up my hire car from the airport only to take a wrong turning on the way North and ending up wending my way through the suburbs to find the right route. I eventually find Route 1 and head North. I am heading for the Bay of Islands which is a three to four hour drive. I want to be in Paihia before the Tourist Information shop shuts which I think will be about 5pm. Amazingly it does not take too long to leave the built up areas behind and the road winds through scenery that is a mixture of The Lakes, Derbyshire and Scotland – the latter the further North I go. I know that the South Island scenery will be a step up from this – see Lord of the Rings – but it is still pretty impressive. No signs by the road to look out for animals to road kill as curiously New Zealand does not have any indigenous mammals – they had not developed before NZ ‘cast off’ from other lands or emerged volcanically from the sea, whichever it was. Plenty of birds – lots of flightless ones as no predators…until humans arrived. There was a huge flightless bird called a ‘moa’ that stood 3.5 metres tall and weighed in at 200kg. Thus it was easily seen and too fat to run away – thank you very much said the early settler chefs…that is until they killed them all off! Good job that thing is not still around to wobble out of the bushes and stagger in front of my car! I see the odd bit of flying road kill, and one thing that could have been a kiwi, but on the other hand it might not have been. Lots of green! Trees, fields, meadows, forests. Lots and lots of green!

I have told you before about ‘road trip madness’ and it soon settles in. A sign for ‘wandering stock’ has me launching into ‘I was born under a wandering star’ from Paint Your Waggon. I perform the scene from Dirty Dancing where ‘Baby’ and her father fall out. ‘I’m sorry I let you down, Daddy! But you let me down too! Whaaah!’ Why that one I don’t know but it amused me to do it. Would it be possible for someone reading this to send help for me – preferably some doctors in white coats. You can find me somewhere on the road to madness, NZ. At some traffic lights the sticker on the car in front invites me to ‘Take it out and play with it’. I am not sure what the driver has in his/her boot so decide to pass on this one. At the service station where you have to pay your road toll, I pay my two dollars and I also realise at the same time that it is no wonder the concierge at the hotel thought I was wonderful as I gave him tips in two dollar lots thinking they were one dollar! This is because Aussie and Kiwi coins are the exact opposite!

Now back to the lack of mammals. It is weird having come from Australia where there are creatures of all sorts to do nasty things to you to a land where you would have to work hard to get pecked to death! But there are stingy things etc to watch out for. I will keep an eye out for the mouse-sized giant ‘weta’ which is a ferocious looking scavenging insect! What, a cockroach the size of a mouse! There were bats, but they made good kebabs. The kiwi is not just good at hiding but does not taste very nice. The Maori would have brought domestic fowls and pigs etc but favourites are something called ‘mutton bird’ which tastes like fish, and ‘puha’ which is tastes like it sounds and is prickly sow thistle! Not for me thanks. So the Europeans stayed with what they knew best – meat and two veg! They brought cattle, sheep, horses, goats, deer, rabbits, dogs and cats. If you could eat it they brought it. You may think that NZ’s top export would be sheep things and butter but nope! It’s onions! But sheep are big in the national psyche, so much so that they have ‘sheep shows’ with performing sheep for the tourists – but not this tourist. As usual when you introduce an ‘alien’ species it does not always go to plan ( see OZ with its pig and rabbit problems). In NZ it’s possums that are pissed…..sorry, pests….that accent again! And it has to be the Australian Brush-Tailed Possum - now 70 million strong – and munching their way through NZ’s best and most colourful trees and shrubs.

After a couple of hours I reach Whangerei, which is Maori for ‘domestic violence’ (see Maori glossary). I stop to find a toilet. I see a rather quality looking wooden building by the marina and see a woman go in it. When she emerges some moments later I ask her if this is the toilet. I think she can just about see me down her nose! ‘Oh, no’ she replies, ‘this is only for the use of people in the marina.’ And to emphasise this she adds,’ and you have to have a key.’ Got me there then. I ask her if she know where the public toilets are. ‘Public toilets? ‘she responds in a Lady Bracknell voice. ‘ No, I’m afraid I don’t know where the public toilets are!’ I give this anecdote in contrast to helpful taxi drivers! One toilet visit later, I check my map and see that Whangerai Falls are on my route and noted to be the ‘most photogenic in NZ’. They have a number of advantages over the waterfalls I have visited in Australia. Firstly, they are easy to find – no risky 4wd journeys. Secondly they have water in them. Now call me Mr Picky, but water in a waterfall is important. Jim Jim Falls and Twin Falls may be spectacular but to see them in their glory you have to either have wings or be prepared to spend a number of months croc dodging while you walk there! Whangeria Falls are lovely and lots of photos taken.
I reach Paihai just before 6pm and the Information Booth is still open. Helpful Katherine books me on an all-day cruise to the islands with dolphin watching guaranteed and directs me to a good day drive for Wednesday. My hotel overlooks the bay and my room has a bay view! Yaaay! When I open the shutters in my room, the view is not just picture-book, it is picture-picture book! I find myself saying out loud – ‘Well, hit me with a stick and call me Henry!’ Why – who knows? It is laundry time again and as a seasoned traveller I muscle my way past some hesitant women and grab a machine in the guests’ laundry. While this is doing I sample the pool. It is empty and cool, and I spend half an hour amusing myself swimming under the false waterfall watched by bemused guests on their balconies. A well-timed return to the laundry room gets me a drier, much to the chagrin of other guests whose timing is not so good. I read my book while I wait then, laundry done for another week, set off to photograph some stunning sunsets. All in all a good day.

Tuesday 17th November Bay of Islands

The Bay of Islands trip promised lots of islands – there are 144 in the bay – a stroll round one of them at lunchtime, and possibly, possibly dolphins, whales, killer whales, seals and lots of seabirds. The trouble with wildlife is that it won’t come to order. However, fear not good sir! We had only been going about 15 minutes when the skipper suddenly announced he was changing course as some of the other boats in the bay had found a school of dolphins. Within five minutes we were there and the ‘experts’ on board estimated the size of the group at between forty and fifty adults, some with young. In order to even sail near dolphins you have to have a permit from the NZ Conservation folk. The boat I was on had the permit that allows you to swim with the dolphins under certain conditions. Two of the no-nos are if the group is feeding – it was – and if there are young present –there were- so no swimming allowed. Watching them was enough though. Sometimes we were following them and sometimes they were following us. At all times I think they had the upper hand! They were behind the boat, right next to it, under it, in front of it. We stayed a good 20 minutes just watching and snapping. These were bottle-nosed dolphins and so had a distinctive short beak. As we moved off and the skipper revved up the engines a group decided to leap and dash in and out of the bow wave and followed us for a good few minutes before they decided they had had enough fun. I am not sure if these are the ones getting caught in Japanese tuna nets, but ti makes you think! Fabulous!
It wasn’t quite downhill from there but apart from two NZ fur seals and lots of seabirds that was it for wildlife. Still, we felt we had got most of our money’s worth. The skipper diverted on a number of occasions if he or anyone else saw seabird activity as this is a good signal of whales and/or dolphins feeding. But it was only seabirds feeding. Only, I say when it was gannets and petrels and terns and shearwaters. Not an everyday sight for me in the UK! We went right out to the edge of the Bay where it does get quite rough, and made our way through the spectacular ‘Hole in the Rock’ – that was a bit scary! But it would not be the Pacific if ‘Cooky’ had not stuck his oar in somewhere. On seeing the ‘Hole in the Rock’ from the sea he declared it looked as if someone had shot a cannon ball straight though it. What a card he was! We stopped for lunch at Otehei Bay, the former home of US author Zane Grey – don’t worry if you have never heard of him, as he wrote fairly crabby westerns but made millions from it! We had an hour so I walked to the top of the nearest hill and sat there for my lunch. I had a 360 degree view of the surrounding bays and islands. It was very relaxing. On the way back we called at Russell to drop off some folk. Russell ( pop 1140) is former whaling station and in the past was known as the ‘hell hole of the Pacific’. Every vagabond, sailor and no-good for miles came there for R+R. At any one time there could be up to 70 whaling ships in its harbour. Its inns, pubs and brothels have long gone. The whales they hunted are nearly all gone – what killed the trade ironically was synthetic oils. When Charles Darwin visited it in 1835 he described it as full of ‘the refuse of society’. Nowadays it is a ‘select’ residential area. How times change.

As we pass a diving boat on our way round the Bay, the skipper comments that there are two wrecks sunk in the Bay which divers can visit. My ears prick up when he says one of them is the wreck of the Rainbow Warrior. For the uninitiated, the Rainbow Warrior was owned by Greenpeace, and in July 1985 it was in Auckland Harbour preparing to a sail to protest against the French nuclear tests at Mururoa Atoll near Tahiti. The French decided they did not want this to happen so they sent a team of secret service agents to blow up the ship in the harbour. Number one – this was tantamount to a terrorist attack on the soil of another sovereign nation. Number two – the explosion killed a crew-member who had remained on board on the night it was attacked. Number three – the French argued they had a right to do this when the men were caught; up to then they had denied it! They even tried to claim diplomatic immunity for the attackers! Ok, so James Bond isn’t real, but someone had been murdered here! The New Zealand Government and people went nuts! Two men were captured, put on trial and found guilty. The French Government (and people – don’t ya just love em?) went nuts too, as they thought this was unfair and boycotted NZ goods. They put so much pressure on NZ that eventually NZ caved in and sent the ‘guilty’ men to a sort of prison holiday camp on a French Pacific Island. Merde alors! Tomorrow I will pass Perengarenga harbour where the agents landed and set off in a camper van pretending to be tourists. If it wasn’t so serious it would be farcical! Vive la France!

Back on land I go to the hotel pool and once again have the water to myself. A couple of ‘wusses’ come and dip their toes in the pool then go off muttering. They pay no attention to me. They must think I am a seal. A while later I take a walk in the hotel grounds, which are located right next to the sacred grounds upon which the Treaty of Waitangi was signed in 1840. You will have learned by now that the words ‘native’ and ‘treaty’ do not sit together easily, and they usually mean a pretty bad deal for the natives (c/f purchase of Manhattan for a few beads and a copy of the TV Times). The Treaty of Waitangi did try to be different. It is hailed as the moment that New Zealand became a nation as it became a nominal British colony. The problem is as always one of interpretation. There is no doubt that a number of significant Maori chiefs signed the Treaty, along with Governor Hobson. But each side thought they were signing something different. The British thought they were getting the Maoris to sign over sovereign rights to the land. The Maoris thought they were signing up for a whale and dolphin watching trip round the Bay of Islands in Hobson’s warship anchored off the coast. In any case it wasn’t long before each side was accusing the other of reneging on the terms of the Treaty and wars broke out – lots of them, for a long time, and in the end the Maoris lost….surprise, surprise. But not before Hobson had ‘purchased’ 3000 acres of land upon which to found Auckland – taking advantage of the Maori chief’s offer of ‘take some land, take some free’ – and called it after the Earl of Auckland, whoever he was! The actual spot where the Treaty was signed is very impressive as is the 30 metre long Maori war canoe next to the Treaty House. I had to look at this twice as the sign said ‘Waca’ and the canoe was up on wooden blocks, with what looked like tireless bogie wheels below. It was only when I read that ‘waca’ means war canoe that I stopped looking for Scousers. Birds sing in the trees, the waves lap the shore, the sun sets over picturesque mountains and islands. The view is well worth the two cabbages and the one –legged chicken it took to buy it!

Wednesday 18th November Cape Reinga ( and back!)

La la, Tralee! Trala Tralee! I’m in love! I’m in love! I’m in love! I have just got back from a 400+ km return journey to New Zealand’s northernmost point – Cape Reinga. I was exhausted, nearly ran out of petrol, so by the time I got back I needed a shower. And that’s why I’m in love! This is the bestest, most relaxing, most wonderful shower I have ever had – well it was cause I could not be doing this and still be in the shower. Lead on MacDuff!

Cape Reinga is at the top of a 104km peninsula which starts about 100km from Bay of Islands so it was always going to be a full day. Petrol story later, but I did starts with a full tank as I had read that the northernmost petrol station at Waitiki Landing often runs out of petrol! Lunch, lots of drink, warm and all-weather clothing; pretty much prepared for anything which was a good job as I had not gone more than a few kms and it started tipping if down. Ok, I said to myself, let’s be reasonable. NZ is like it is – green, foresty etc precisely because it rains a lot. Usually 7 days a month on average in the summer, and more like 16 in the winter. So it can be wet. Once out of Paihai, the scenery moved quickly from the rolling hills of Derbyshire to glens and lochs of Scotland to rugged Yorkshire moors – hey up, Heathcliffe! – back to Scotland again, but this time the hills and dunes of the North coast. Plenty of variety for the journey – if only it would stop raining – which it eventually did when I reached the top!

At the bottom of the peninsula is Doubtless Bay. I mention this because the naming of this bay does not rank in the top ten things done by our old friend Captain Cook. He may have been one of history’s most travelled men, and his map drawing skills are legendary, but when he writes in his journal that what he sees in front of him is ‘doubtless a bay’ you can be forgiven for thinking ‘No shit, Sherlock!’ Other entries include the wonderful observation that ‘this creature remindeth me of a goat’ when it was in fact a goat that he and his crew had left on an island to help feed shipwrecked mariners; and ‘forsooth, methinks I saw a feathered creature in my hand’ when he was looking at his quill! He had been at sea a long time! More of ‘Cooky’ later.

The Maoris colonised NZ from the North, and their first landings were in the area of Cape Reinga, which they called Te Rerenga Wairua, which means ‘Where the heck have we landed?’ They quickly moved southwards and this Northern peninsula is one of the biggest concentrations of Maori speakers in NZ. It also has the biggest concentration of Croatian speakers on NZ. This is because when the Croats arrived at the end of the 19thC looking for work, they were ostracised by the ‘white’ New Zealanders but found the Maori more welcoming, so much so that there has been a serious amount of intermarrying. The odd place name pops up too. A couple of other odd place names that caught my eye as I passed were Salvation Road and Cemetery Road. Not only were these right next to each other but each of them also had an additional sign which said ‘No Exit’!

To reach Cape Reinga you have to travel on the only road that goes North, but this runs out 21kms from the Cape. The NZ road people are tarmacing it but are only part way through the project, so quite a lot of road-works and half finished roads to negotiate. Once there, there is a substantial car park, a toilet, an old lighthouse and that’s it! But you have to say WOW to the Cape itself. It sits at the point where the Tasman Sea and the Pacific Ocean meet. You can see the physical clash of the waters in the surf and spray and the occasional whirlpool. It is a site that takes your breath. All this from towering, windswept cliffs. I don’t know what it is about coming to the recognised ‘end’ of the land - c/f Land’s End in the UK – but I always feel it is a sort of spiritual moment, timeless. I just want to look, and to ‘feel’ the moment. Cape Reinga is a spiritual place for the Maori too as they say it is the jumping off point for souls of those who have died. They also see the clash of the waters as between the male Pacific Ocean and the female Tasman Sea in a dance of creation through the whirlpools. I stood and watched and thought and climbed and sat down for quite a while, then headed for the ‘Giant Sand Dunes of Kilamanjaro’ – actually Te Paki Reserve. The sand dunes are really as big as they say – in fact bigger! Climbing them is like going up the last bit of Everest. I was following a German guy who was determined to get his towel on the top, but these dunes are so steep we both had to crawl some of the way on our hands and knees. We were rewarded at the top by a 60mph sand blast that nearly took our skin off! I think I saw the ocean, but even though I had glasses on I had to shut my eyes quickly so as to avoid being blinded! We both scuttled down quickly after that, and in doing so passed Mallory’s 1922 Everest expedition which had clearly taken a wrong turn. In the car park when I got back I amused myself by making sandcastles out of what was in my shoes and socks. The sand was everywhere – and Mary I mean everywhere! I then used what must go on record as the worst toilets I have come across yet! I cannot find words to describe them. Suffice it to say that men are not usually picky! Also in the car park was a stall trying to persuade people to ‘sand surf’ down the dunes. The brochure pictures show happy campers steaming down the dunes. All I can say is that they must have taken these people up by winch or helicopter for them to have any strength left to get on the board never mind ‘surf’ down on it! The stall had no customers whilst I was there.

The road to Cape Reinga more or less goes up the eastern side of the isthmus. It is 104kms long. Down the western side is a beach – which is 90km long! Called – rather oddly – 90 mile beach, you can drive the whole length of it provided you are a) mad and b) properly insured. Unfortunately hire vehicles are prohibited from the beach as they are not covered by the correct insurance. Tour coaches, strangely, are. But more of that in a minute. At the sand dune car park there is a notice that more or less says that death will come to all who dare to pass this notice. At a point where I visited the beach some 45kms south the notice said ‘Enjoy your drive on the beach’. This is because there is a section of the northern beach that at certain times of the day – coinciding with tides – becomes quicksand. Cars and people have come to grief there. I find myself wishing I had a 4WD instead of the tin can I am driving! In fact if someone can invent a car that can be a 4WD, a sports car and a straightforward saloon all in one – this would be the perfect car to drive in OZ and NZ! The coach brochure for Cape Reinga encourages the passengers to ‘feel the sand between your toes as you help your driver dig the coach out of the quicksand in a fun race against the rising tide!’

I did drive on Ninety Mile Beach for a short while – about five minutes – following a camper van on the assumption that they would hit the quicksand first! Just to say I’d done it! On the way back to Bay of Islands I (wrongly) chose the scenic inland route, which did take me through some spectacular gorge scenery reminiscent of what I should have seen at the Blue Mountains, but which unfortunately took me well away from any settlements that had petrol stations. I should have had enough to get me back – full tank, 400kms, should be plenty. But then I started to lose confidence in the petrol gauge, remembering that when I had it filled up the previous night the attendant had made some comment about it ‘filling quickly’. Settlement after settlement, no garage, and the needled flickering at just above empty – that light going on and off annoyingly. I won’t drag this out. I did get to Kawakawa on time. The tank slurped the petrol up. It takes 40 litres. I put 39.4 into it!

Now, back to Captain Cook. He is beginning to irritate me. He just keeps popping up everywhere. He only passed by Cape Reinga, but he gets a mention. In fact two other explorers get a mention – Abel Tasman and a Frenchman called de Surville who left his name on some cliffs , opened a bistro, then disappeared. Apparently Tasman and de Surville sailed past the Cape and each other without noticing! Tasman played a 17thC version of monopoly, collecting bits of land as he went past without actually landing there. He named a bit of the Cape after Maria Van Dieman wife of his sponsor. He named all of Tasmania after him! Startrek ‘trekkies’ may have already spotted this but I am only just catching on to the links between Captain Cook and Captain Kirk. Remember Kirk’s mission ‘ to boldly go where no man has been before’. That is Cook is it not? Both called James! Both Captains of their ships – one called Endeavour the other Enterprise – you don’t need a Thesaurus to link those. Both had crew members that didn’t survive very long. And the surgeon on the Endeavour was called ‘Bones’ because he had sawn off half the crew’s legs. Keep an eye on this one.

Finally for this entry, there are so many Maori connexions in this area, you will probably need a little help with Maori names and sayings. Below is a glossary for you to keep by for future entries.

Helpful Maori glossary

Awa Move on please!
Haka Novice golfer
Iwi Where’s the loo??
Kaiwaka Locksmith with mixed Maori and Liverpudlian origins
Kawakawa Shall I fetch the milking beasts, father?
Kumara Another day, thanks
Pa Elderly relative
Parahaka Army novice golfer
Pounamu I have just stepped in a cow pat
Puhoi Raised latrine area
Pukaki Military clothing does not suit you
Pupuke Stand well clear, and mind the doors!
Tangata I will join you in the sunshine
Taonga Licking device
Tapu Yes, I need the toilet urgently
Tapuna I really meant it when I said I need the toilet now!
Tekapo Bring your own toilet device
Wai Pardon?
Waitangi Remain here for the moment, Angela
Waiata What a ridiculous head-dress!
Waiomio Do you have to leave the party so soon?
Whangerai Maori domestic violence
Whare Kai I am locked out of my dwelling
Whare manuhiri Will the locksmith be here soon?
Whare runanga I am getting annoyed he is not coming quickly!
Can someone fetch him?
Whenua We will be there simultaneously